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whyzacre



Joined: 27 Jun 2007

Posts: 199


PostPosted: Mon Jul 23, 2007 8:00 pm    Post subject: If a post contains some illegal issues you may abuse on it - just click Abuse and fill the form Reply with quote

andy rooney wrote:
maybe i should have titled the thread, "funny" jokes.

... see your 3rd post ...
Wink
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Jeff Mason



Joined: 27 Jun 2007

Posts: 361
Location: Ohio

PostPosted: Mon Jul 23, 2007 8:02 pm    Post subject: If a post contains some illegal issues you may abuse on it - just click Abuse and fill the form Reply with quote

IanWagner wrote:
How many Smile Shoppers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?


10 -- 1 to do it after the other nine have compared all possible mixes for the best mastered version.
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andy rooney



Joined: 27 Jun 2007

Posts: 107
Location: PDX

PostPosted: Mon Jul 23, 2007 8:03 pm    Post subject: If a post contains some illegal issues you may abuse on it - just click Abuse and fill the form Reply with quote

whyzacre wrote:
andy rooney wrote:
maybe i should have titled the thread, "funny" jokes.

... see your 3rd post ...
Wink


burn! Wink
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there are sixteen cans of coffee here; together they hold a total of thirteen and a half pounds of coffee. doesn't that seem like cheating? -andy rooney
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hope chest



Joined: 27 Jun 2007

Posts: 101
Location: SF Bay Area - East Bay

PostPosted: Mon Jul 23, 2007 8:21 pm    Post subject: If a post contains some illegal issues you may abuse on it - just click Abuse and fill the form Reply with quote

so this monkey's getting high in a tree. a lizard ambles along and sees him sitting up there and asks him what he's doing. "getting stoned," he says. "come up and have some." so the lizard climbs up the tree and proceeds to get loaded with the monkey. after awhile the lizard is REALLY thirsty so he says "i'm gonna go get a drink of water. i'll be right back."

he walks down to the water's edge and starts to drink, but he's so stoned he falls in. this aligator sees him fall in, swims over, and carries him to shore. "what the hell was THAT all about?!" he asks the lizard. the lizard tells him about how he was really thirsty cos the monkey got him high and the aligator says "now THIS i've gotta see."

he takes off walking and, sure enough, a little ways away there's the monkey smoking the rest of the joint in the tree. he calls up to him "HEY!!" the monkey looks down, his eyes nearly pop out of his head, and he says "WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAA - how much did you fucking DRINK???"
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andy rooney



Joined: 27 Jun 2007

Posts: 107
Location: PDX

PostPosted: Mon Jul 23, 2007 8:42 pm    Post subject: If a post contains some illegal issues you may abuse on it - just click Abuse and fill the form Reply with quote

i like it! Laughing
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there are sixteen cans of coffee here; together they hold a total of thirteen and a half pounds of coffee. doesn't that seem like cheating? -andy rooney
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Susan



Joined: 27 Jun 2007

Posts: 207


PostPosted: Mon Jul 23, 2007 9:04 pm    Post subject: If a post contains some illegal issues you may abuse on it - just click Abuse and fill the form Reply with quote

hope chest wrote:
so this monkey's getting high in a tree. a lizard ambles along and sees him sitting up there and asks him what he's doing. "getting stoned," he says. "come up and have some." so the lizard climbs up the tree and proceeds to get loaded with the monkey. after awhile the lizard is REALLY thirsty so he says "i'm gonna go get a drink of water. i'll be right back."

he walks down to the water's edge and starts to drink, but he's so stoned he falls in. this aligator sees him fall in, swims over, and carries him to shore. "what the hell was THAT all about?!" he asks the lizard. the lizard tells him about how he was really thirsty cos the monkey got him high and the aligator says "now THIS i've gotta see."

he takes off walking and, sure enough, a little ways away there's the monkey smoking the rest of the joint in the tree. he calls up to him "HEY!!" the monkey looks down, his eyes nearly pop out of his head, and he says "WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAA - how much did you fucking DRINK???"


Hey - you can't tell that joke here! It's funny!

Why did the chicken cross the road?

















To see a man lay bricks.
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The Grand Fromage



Joined: 27 Jun 2007

Posts: 185


PostPosted: Mon Jul 23, 2007 9:13 pm    Post subject: If a post contains some illegal issues you may abuse on it - just click Abuse and fill the form Reply with quote

...

Last edited by The Grand Fromage on Wed Jul 25, 2007 10:05 am; edited 1 time in total
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andy rooney



Joined: 27 Jun 2007

Posts: 107
Location: PDX

PostPosted: Mon Jul 23, 2007 9:31 pm    Post subject: If a post contains some illegal issues you may abuse on it - just click Abuse and fill the form Reply with quote

what did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?












wiped his butt.
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there are sixteen cans of coffee here; together they hold a total of thirteen and a half pounds of coffee. doesn't that seem like cheating? -andy rooney
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andy rooney



Joined: 27 Jun 2007

Posts: 107
Location: PDX

PostPosted: Mon Jul 23, 2007 9:39 pm    Post subject: If a post contains some illegal issues you may abuse on it - just click Abuse and fill the form Reply with quote

and now for something completely different.

this guy i knew was so dumb, he walked into a kybo, and when he saw two holes in the bench, he put both his legs in and shit his pants.

aw yeah.
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there are sixteen cans of coffee here; together they hold a total of thirteen and a half pounds of coffee. doesn't that seem like cheating? -andy rooney
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Becky



Joined: 27 Jun 2007

Posts: 155


PostPosted: Tue Jul 24, 2007 7:23 am    Post subject: If a post contains some illegal issues you may abuse on it - just click Abuse and fill the form Reply with quote

IanWagner wrote:
How many Smile Shoppers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?


Ten. One to fix the lightbulb and nine to spin the room around.
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Bubba Ho-Tep



Joined: 29 Jun 2007

Posts: 72
Location: Parts Unknown

PostPosted: Tue Jul 24, 2007 2:28 pm    Post subject: If a post contains some illegal issues you may abuse on it - just click Abuse and fill the form Reply with quote

Hear about the fly that landed on the toilet seat?





















He got pissed off.
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The Grand Fromage



Joined: 27 Jun 2007

Posts: 185


PostPosted: Tue Jul 24, 2007 11:08 pm    Post subject: If a post contains some illegal issues you may abuse on it - just click Abuse and fill the form Reply with quote

...

Last edited by The Grand Fromage on Wed Jul 25, 2007 10:05 am; edited 1 time in total
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The Grand Fromage



Joined: 27 Jun 2007

Posts: 185


PostPosted: Tue Jul 24, 2007 11:12 pm    Post subject: If a post contains some illegal issues you may abuse on it - just click Abuse and fill the form Reply with quote

...

Last edited by The Grand Fromage on Wed Jul 25, 2007 10:04 am; edited 1 time in total
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The Grand Fromage



Joined: 27 Jun 2007

Posts: 185


PostPosted: Tue Jul 24, 2007 11:24 pm    Post subject: If a post contains some illegal issues you may abuse on it - just click Abuse and fill the form Reply with quote

...

Last edited by The Grand Fromage on Wed Jul 25, 2007 10:05 am; edited 1 time in total
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halleluwah



Joined: 27 Jun 2007

Posts: 352


PostPosted: Wed Jul 25, 2007 8:06 am    Post subject: If a post contains some illegal issues you may abuse on it - just click Abuse and fill the form Reply with quote

Why is it that you can never hear rabbits having sex?






Because they have COTTON BALLS!
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